The unspoken difficulties of mission
Missionary life has plenty of ups and downs, but some difficulties rarely make it into a prayer letter. Daryl Jones lets us in on some of the things missionaries would like to share with you, but probably don’t.
One of the greatest privileges of my role as Mission Director is that, with my wife Julia, we visit all our missionaries. We have had the honour of not just seeing their work but hearing their daily heart issues. Many of these things never get mentioned in a prayer letter. This article shares our observations on the unspoken difficulties of mission.
Serving in a new place
Culture is the first challenge a missionary faces. In a new country the language, climate and the way things are done are different. A new language makes you feel like a child—you can’t even ask for the simplest thing like a coffee or tea! Then there is the heat and dust, the cold and wind, the light and darkness—in fact everything is different from the familiar British seasons.
After a while you begin to adapt; you learn to speak the language and get more used to the climate. But the sense of being a long way from home lingers. Each difference points to that loss and brings a feeling of loneliness. You look for post to come through your letterbox but the only postal service goes to your PO box in town, and it is usually empty. How you long for birthday cards or Christmas cards or even a present!
Inevitably there is a yearning for home which is especially strong on memorable days. Yes, missionaries get homesick. You long for home, but when you get back you aren’t at home. Missionary children go by the acronym TCK—third culture kids—they are neither at home in their sending country nor in their serving country. They don’t fit, and it hurts. Their parents grapple with this on their behalf, which can even lead to feelings of guilt for taking their children out of their home culture.
Church should be the greatest joy and yet the missionary can often struggle to find good teaching and fellowship. They are usually more experienced and gifted than the pastor. How will you be fed from God’s Word and find meaningful fellowship when you are seen as the provider?
Facing disappointments
Teamwork should be a help, but it can easily go wrong. You have been serving well alongside another worker, but now there are tensions. You have done your best, sought peace, reconciliation and a way forward, but to no avail. You have apologized but the other person doesn’t accept it. How do you put that in a prayer letter? Yet if such things occur, it is a significant prayer need.
Disappointment is a common experience. It could be that the person you have been training for years makes ungodly decisions. Perhaps there is a lack of progress in the work; you feel the supporters want to hear how well it is going but, in reality, you have little to show for the past few years and you just want to give up.
Honesty and transparency
Linked with this is social media. One missionary told us that all the photos they post are of idealized situations—sunshine, happy people and full meetings—as they feel they cannot post the others. What is a ‘true and fair’ view? Not knowing how widely something will be circulated makes them cautious about sharing negative things.
Bureaucracy often leads to frustration. When trying to obtain the essential visas, passports and work permits there is a ‘process’ involving many visits and steps, requiring immense patience. And often there are the ‘fees’ or ‘administrative charges’ to be paid—which may well be other names for a bribe. Do you pay? Is that a right thing to do? But it is how things work and everyone else does it.
Which bring us to money. Thankfully GBM missionaries are guaranteed their allowance which comes through the giving of others. But here is another dilemma: the supporters give so the missionary can do mission work, but can you use that money for a holiday? If so, where should you go, what is appropriate? Do you tell anyone? What are you allowed to purchase? Satellite TV? Gym membership? This can easily lead missionaries either to feel guilty about spending, or unnecessarily to go without.
Then there are the needs of others where you are serving. You have the resources to help them financially, but should you? What is wise? You get a request from someone to help with hospital expenses, school fees or ministry resources—what do you do?
Danger and trauma
What happens if you, or worse, your children, get ill? Our NHS gives us access to treatment free at the point of use, but that is not the case in most mission fields. And if you can access medical care, you can lack confidence in it.
Mental healthhas always been an issue in the work of mission. Your family is now far away, perhaps your children are students, or your parents are experiencing age-related ill health. You worry about your children that are with you—is this a good place for them? Is homeschooling the right thing for us? Will local education set them back in life?
And the place where you serve brings fear. In the recent UK election, the result was accepted peacefully. But in other countries an election can mean differing factions expressing their support or opposition violently on the streets. All the ministry you planned for the coming weeks must now stop and you are left isolated and fearful in your house. That isolation isn’t unusual as, for some, you don’t go out at night anyway—as a western missionary you are a target for robbery.
In some countries natural disaster is not far away. I remember visiting one part of the world and each morning the conversation was about the earth tremors during the night. I had slept through it all—earthquakes never entered my mind. But for my hosts it was a daily reality.
Imagine how the missionary feels when news comes of a colleague dying, or they receive a WhatsApp message that includes pictures of brothers and sisters who have been injured (or worse). Of course, these things can be shared in a prayer letter, but do we grasp how this traumaaffects the hearts and minds of our missionaries?
Strengthened in weakness
Here is the reality of what Paul speaks of in 2 Corinthians 11, where he lists all his hardships: ‘with far greater labours, far more imprisonments, with countless beatings, and often near death’ (v23). And then he speaks of the greater burden of the churches: ‘And, apart from other things, there is the daily pressure on me of my anxiety for all the churches’ (v28). The wonderful thing is that none of our missionaries complain. But perhaps next time you read a prayer letter, think about what is behind the words—as Paul puts it: ‘Who is weak, and I am not weak?’ (v29).